You’ve got holes in your jumper – an FAQ

I swear to god, you can’t wear distressed clothing in the company of anyone over the age of 25. The constant reminders, bad puns and unoriginal jokes get boring after the first five times. Alas, the world is full of simpletons so I thought I’d put together a little FAQ for us all to swerve the banal comments.

Where did you get that jumper from, it’s full of holes!?
This jumper is from HotMess! and I’m honestly in love with it. My boyfriend got it me for Christmas after seeing me eyeing up their Yeezy-esque range. Despite being covered in holes, it’s a great quality jumper and it’s made in the UK. It washes really well and if anything, it’s actually got softer with time.

Do you think you’re Yeezy or something?
Yes I do.

Arent you cold!?
No, its a jumper. If I was I’d layer up, but thanks for your concern.

You do know you can see your bra through the holes right?
God forbid! A bra strap? How will I face the outdoors again. THE SHAME.

Think about it this way, if society is going to enforce women to wear bras, then charge us unfathomable amounts for the privileged of wearing them – why shouldn’t I show off a slight bit of the material I paid for? Beside, why ya looking pal!?

Look at those rips in your jeans. Did you fall over?
Well, yes I did actually. I slipped on wet leaves and went smack bang on my knees. RIP Topshop Jamies! Luckily, the girls at work egged me on to cut the other leg and I’m please to say the operation was a success.



Should we be wearing ripped jeans anymore?
The one fair argument I see against distressed clothing is that there are hundreds of low-paid workers grafting to create cheap clothing, which we simply rip into for fashion and throw in the bin when we get bored.

I can’t argue that some brands do practice poor sourcing and don’t look after their factories. However, I would be willing to make a tenner bet that the people making this point still shop at Primark and other guilty retailers. No shade, it’s just extremely hard to avoid!

The argument of ethical fashion certainly doesn’t revolve around ripped jeans and whilst your point is valid, you need to be thinking a little broader to get your answer on this one!

Are you trying to be a punk?
You can’t help but think about the punk movement when it comes to ripped jeans. They started it after all (blame them). Ripped jeans were originally a sign of anarchy. It was a pretty bold move to tear up something you’d spent money on and it was a way of mainstream rejecting consumerism.

How ironic that it’s now super trendy.

Can you not afford new jeans?
I shop in Aldi. What do you think, fam?

31 thoughts on “You’ve got holes in your jumper – an FAQ

  1. I’m not quite sure why people feel the need to question other people like this, but I really love the answers to your FAQ! I think that what people choose to wear is a personal choice and it’s just really not anyone else place to comment on or question that choice.

    1. Surely age has nothing to do with it? Look at Baddie Winkle, nothing stops her :).

  2. Hahahah. YES. I love this! I am all for holey jumpers & distressed jeans (even if it’s not on purpose) Your knee looks sore though! Ouch!

  3. Haha oh the sarcasm gurl I heart you. I actually love distressed clothing and it made me laugh when your response to the question that asked if you were Yeezy was ‘yes’ .

  4. Hmm, I’m not sold on the jumper, it looks like you borrowed it from a tramp, but you don’t look like a tramp you pull it off! Me – I would look like I’d chucked it in the tumble dryer on the wrong setting.

    1. This happens to me a lot because Topshop joni jeans are weak af and I sit like a man all day.

  5. haha this was a great post! Good little giggle! I don’t own any distressed tops but I will definitely be turning a pair of my black skinnies into ripped dreams soon as they are getting quite old!

    1. It’s the perfect way to update old jeans! Bit of Dylon and some rips – jobs a good en!

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