An ode to turtle neck jumpers

A beautiful selection of turtleneck jumpers in all different colours. Top L - R: Red, Beige, Bottom L - R Mustard, Black
Choose a turtle neck. Choose cosiness. Choose covering your arms up. Choose a middle ground between casual and formal. Choose black. Choose red. Choose beige. Choose any colour you can get your hands on CAUSE THEY ALL LOOK GR8. Choose Primark basics. Choose a jumper that makes your boobs look mint. Choose to bin off chokers. Choose hiding a double chin when you laugh. Choose machine washable. Choose rolled up sleeves. Choose soft knit. Choose to ignore the rest of your wardrobe cause you’ve found your look and it’s cheap to keep up with… but why would you want to do a thing like that?

Last week I wore a different coloured turtle neck jumper every day of the week. I fucking love them and for a fiver a pop on the highstreet, honestly who can blame me?

I’m the kinda girl who wears things to death, but turtle necks are so classic that nobody even notices. You know when fashion bloggers talk about getting your basics nailed? Well, when I started buying turtle necks it all finally made sense. It was like the fashion Gods looked down on me and said ‘This gal is clueless, let’s spell it our for her‘.

The best turtle necks on the high street
I know I’m somewhat notorious for slagging off Primark, but they do the best turtle necks. H&M aint got nothing on Primark for these bad boys. For Β£5 you get a super-soft, high-neck in just about any colour. My only qualm being that the material is a little thin so if you wear a light colour, dark bras will inevitably show through.

M&S do some mighty fine turtle necks, but for me they’re a little too expensive for something so basic. If cashmere is your thing though, don’t let me stop you! Maybe you appreciate the finer things in life and I’m not here to get in the way of you buying a turtle neck. That just ain’t me.

Which colour turtle neck is right for me?
Right this is where I start pretending to be a stylist… Because most turtle neck jumpers cover your arms and neck, you need to make sure they work with your skin tone and hair colour – hear me out! This is because they can easily wash you out.

For example, let’s say you’re a pale girl with blonde hair. If you went for a beige turtle neck, you’d be completely washed out. You’d be better off with a dark grey toned jumper instead to break up the beige tones. Also, take it from me cause I own beige turtle neck, everyone thinks you’re sat around naked. Nobody wants that. This is the only time I’m going to tell you what to wear so just let me have my turtle neck moment please.

Long live turtle neck jumpers!

I know what you’re about to say – ‘But Jess, aren’t you proper sweaty on hot days?‘ Summer might be on it’s way, but I’ve got myself covered with some SLEEVELESS turtle necks (get me) and I live in Manchester anyway so sun is scarce.

So really you can’t say NOTHIN’! My love for turtle neck jumpers will never die.

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  1. May 9, 2017 / 10:52 am

    I love turtle necks as well and didn’t realise they were this cheap! I deffo need some more! They are so flattering! Love your blog sweet! Great content!

    Emily xx

  2. May 10, 2017 / 11:26 am

    “Well, when I started buying turtle necks it all finally made sense” you are hilarious πŸ˜€ but I agree, they are seriously underrated garments! I’ve even been known to wear mine in July!!

  3. May 10, 2017 / 8:40 pm

    I have like no neck so I’ve never managed to get away with wearing turtle neck jumpers, I think they look so nice on the right people though πŸ™‚

  4. May 10, 2017 / 9:35 pm

    I bloody love turtle necks/polo necks too, but my issue is that they make my boobs look like a shelf! :-/ I find they’re best worn with something to cover the shelf, such as a pinafore dress or a poncho/cardi thingy. x

  5. hannah
    May 11, 2017 / 9:58 am

    I like wearing a turtle neck, especially in the winter when it gets colder

  6. May 11, 2017 / 10:04 am

    I have to admit I do love a turtle neck and these colours look fab on you! x

  7. May 11, 2017 / 4:14 pm

    I must say they look great, but I can’t wear them, as feel to restricted, but my mother loves these πŸ™‚ x

  8. May 11, 2017 / 4:18 pm

    Haha, i did enjoying reading your blog. To be blatantly honest, I hate turtle necks, but with this write-up, I kinda wanna try. It is because I totally enjoyed reading it. Great piece!!!

  9. May 11, 2017 / 9:56 pm

    Ooooooo *shudders* we’re not big fans for turtle necks mainly because my mummy used to wear them back in the 90’s and they did NOTHING for her – she hates all the photos of her wearing them. She has big boobs and they just look wrong on her sorry x You look fab though!

    • Jess - Actual Philocalist
      May 12, 2017 / 9:54 am

      Aww man! What if one day I look back and feel the same. No. No it can’t be. I love turtle necks. I take it back!

  10. May 12, 2017 / 12:57 pm

    They always look so good on other people and what a bargain. I can;t wear them as i feel claustrophobic in even a high neck top but wish I could x

  11. May 12, 2017 / 3:19 pm

    I get a bit itchy and clawy around turtle necks! and I have a very round head so I tend to look a bit strange haha, you look fab though!

  12. May 13, 2017 / 9:22 pm

    I love wearing these in the winter, especially with dungarees!

  13. tasha
    May 14, 2017 / 3:04 am

    I unfortunately can’t wear turtle necks. I have this weird phobia wear I feel like I am chocking because my neck is covered. So weird right! LOL! I do however love the way turtlenecks look!

    • Jess - Actual Philocalist
      May 16, 2017 / 2:58 pm

      Oh my gosh that’s totally not weird my cousin has exactly the same thing!
      She says it’s because we got her head trapped in the stairway once so it makes her feel claustrophobic.

  14. May 14, 2017 / 12:54 pm

    I love them, but having a bigger bust, they don’t really like me.

  15. Angela Milnes
    May 14, 2017 / 1:02 pm

    Wow I love this I am a fan of turtle neck and this is a beautiful color, glad you share his i love reading this

  16. chloe grffiths
    May 15, 2017 / 11:20 am

    i love turtle necks, i lived in mine when i visited new york in january xo

  17. May 15, 2017 / 6:31 pm

    I haven’t been in a turtle neck for ages. Luckily, it’s getting warm enough not to need it.