Writing a self-help book made me feel worse


This year I relaunched Philocalist.co.uk. A fancy new look was long overdue and I wanted to transition from fashion and beauty content to mental health and self care content. A few months later I had an amazing burst of creative inspiration that spawned The Self Care Manifesto.

And things went downhill from there really.

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Only better by default

Is your life good only because it’s not as bad as it used to be?

This is something I’ve been pondering for a few weeks now following an interview I did with LoveFrom magazine last month. When asked about self care, I opened up about how my life used to revolve around the opposite of self care – self harm – and I had a bit of a weird epiphany.

When you go through such self hatred at a young age, to come out of the other end is a blessing. Anything beyond that point feels almost like success because you’re not slipping into the void again. Have you ever experienced something like this that seems to alter your inner benchmark for life?

This mindset can be applied to so many aspects in life – relationships, jobs, health etc. It feels healthy to think like this because we’re constantly being told to stay humble and practice gratitude, but actually this ‘better by default’ attitude is causing us to settle for situations that hold us back.

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Where is my mind?

Right, I’m not doing too good. So in a bid to rid myself of bad vibez, I’m just going to word vomit all over my blog and hope that the knot within me comes loose.

I’ve been miserable lately. Not just emotionally, it’s as if I can physically feel sadness. That really sounds like the most emo thing I’ve ever said in my life, but it’s true. My anxious spells are becoming unbearable. I’m panicking to the point of paralysis. I’m literally a shell of what I once was.

Again, very emo.

SO here’s a big massive list of all the things I’m worried about that one day I’ll come back to and say ‘HA! Is that what I was worried about? Everything turned out ok!’ I’d also like to write a disclaimer that I know there are MUCH worse things going wrong in the world than my small issues. I’m writing this as an exercise for myself not as a cry for help or sympathy. So if you read this rolling your eyes, I hope I can join you in doing so one day.

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Tips to survive the summer heat

It’s bloody hot isn’t it? There’s something different about the UK’s warm weather that makes it slightly more unbearable. I’m not sure if it’s the air pressure, the clamminess, or the fact that society goes into meltdown (no pun intended) as soon as there’s a dramatic weather change from our standard grey skies.

This summer I was more conscious than ever that the heat was going to be a struggle. I’ve put on a bit of weight – which isn’t a huge problem – but it does mean I’m less comfortable in the sun than I used to be. My thighs rub, summer clothes don’t fit me and part of me wants to just sit at home and sulk.

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Small self care tasks I’m trying | Summer 2018

First we build habits, then they build us. Since launching Self Care Manifesto and the self care reminder newsletter, I’ve learnt so much about the positive impact self care can have on your life. Small tasks really do add up overtime, so I wanted to share with you a few things I’m doing currently to look after myself.

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